The Christmas season is full of parties and gatherings, formal and informal. So, I thought I’d post some of my favorite tips on being a good guest and a good host.

For Guests:

• DO RSVP, preferably in some written form (even text or email). Your hosts need to know that you are coming and it helps if they don't have to rely on their memory of a phone call.
• DO tell your hosts if you have a food allergy. No one wants to interrupt a lovely dinner party with a call to 911. Note: “I hate Brussels sprouts” is not a food allergy.”If I eat shrimp, I’ll get hives” is a food allergy.

• DO bring or follow up with a      small gift or a note.
• DON'T bring food or      drink that you expect to have served (unless you were asked to bring      it). It's fine to bring a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates for your      host, but don't expect that it will find its way to the table. Most hosts      have planned the menu to balance flavors and your contribution isn't part      of that plan.
• DON'T insist on helping in      the kitchen if you've been told no. Sometimes, extra folks in the kitchen      just make things more difficult.
• DO offer to help though. Just      take no for an answer.
• DO engage in polite      conversation with your fellow guests. Take a look at headlines or watch      Entertainment Tonight before you leave the house so you have something to      talk about.
• DO go into the party prepared      to have a great time! It's amazing how much of a difference a good      attitude makes!

For Hosts:

• Accept the fact that some folks who don’t RSVP yes will show up and some who do, won’t. Just hope it balances out. By the way, it’s perfectly fine to call folks who haven’t responded and ask if they are coming. It’s essential if you are planning a seated meal.
• Don’t assume that someone hates you because they decline an invitation. Folks are busy and sometimes just want a quiet night at home.
• Do as much of your preparation as possible in advance and do as little clean up as possible during the party. You are the host – not a maid. People want to spend time with you, not watch you iron napkins and wash dishes.
• Give yourself a few minutes of down time before the party starts. A calm and positive attitude will flow over to your guests.
• Have places set aside for people’s belongings and for any hostess gifts folks might bring.
• If you are serving alcohol, have the number of a cab company at hand or a guest room ready. Do NOT let someone who is impaired drive.
• Stay calm. Everyone just wants to have fun. Forgetting to put the deviled eggs on the table really isn’t a tragedy.
• Enjoy your own party. That’s why you’re hosting, right?