And we continue our series about things children need to learn to live graciously, happily, and well.

Today, we turn our attention to chores. It used to be common for kids to have daily and weekly chores. Sometimes they were the same. Sometimes there was a chore chart so that the tasks rotated among the kids. (I do dishes this week while you sweep and vacuum. Next week we switch.) But however they were organized, most kids had chores and playtime (or tv viewing) didn't start until they were done.

It has come to my attention that many kids today do not have chores. Maybe we think we're doing them a favor, giving them more time to study or to participate in activities or even just relax. But someday, these same kids are going to have to try to maintain their own homes and they will be forced to undertake a stressful, crash course in the basics of homekeeping — often with nothing but YouTube videos to guide them.

My basic rule is: you live in the house, you help maintain the house – to the best of your physical abilities. Even a very young child can learn to put her toy in the toy box or his clothes into the hamper. Kids of school age can keep their rooms tidy and help with basic household chores like dusting and putting things in the recycling bin, putting away laundered clothes, and setting the table. Kids in school can learn how to sweep and run the vacuum and clean sinks and do dishes and empty trash and help cook meals (making a salad really isn't that difficult). High schoolers can be responsible for the occasional dinner, do the family laundry, mow the lawn, and other major chores. In my view, if you haven't mastered the stove, washing machine, and iron, you can't master driving a car.

In truth, many younger children enjoy being asked to do these things. It makes them feel grown up and as though they are contributing to the family well-being (which they are). And even the most reluctant child is learning what it means to be part of a family and to have self-discipline. Plus, the child develops useful skills we all need until we have robot housekeepers like Rosie on the Jetsons!

So why don't we give kids chores? Well, maybe because they are so over-scheduled that we struggle to find time. maybe because we are so over-scheduled and stressed that we can't find time to teach them and we can't bear another argument about cleaning the cat's litter box. Or maybe it's because a child just learning won't do a task as fast or as well as we can do it ourselves. But you know, we find time to teach kids other things we find important — like reading and writing. I can read and write far faster than the average 8-year old, but that doesn't mean I should do all the reading and leave the child to karate lessons.

We give our time to things that matter and we learn things slowly, by doing them. And the time spent together learning something new is even more precious than having a 16 year-old who can do the laundry!