Our efforts to live a well-rounded life are often frustrated by social pressures. In modern American society, it is not unusual for people to leave vacation days unused and to work far in excess of forty hours a week. Even more astonishing, people who use their vacation days and work the standard number of hours often feel guilty for doing so!  Taking a day or a weekend off to relax or cultivating a hobby is seen as being unproductive. Mentioning a book or television show you enjoy is met with snide comments of “Wish I had time to read/watch tv.”

Too often, our culture places an inflated sense of value on “productive” activity. Those who cannot work are seen as of little value – takers, rather than makers. Those who choose to live a less hectic, more well-rounded life are seen as unambitious or even lazy.

Our priorities are completely reversed. It is good to have a job or other passions that give you life and that you find compelling. Equally valid is having a job that pays the bills so that you can spend time with family and friends, taking care of yourself and others. or just doing things you enjoy. As one of my friends often reminds me, “We are human beings, not human doings.”

So, what can you do to address these misplaced priorities:

• If you are in a supervisory position, do not expect 24/7 access from your staff unless there is a true emergency. Encourage your staff to leave work on time and to take their vacation days.
• If you are not in a position of power, give your employer your best work effort during regular working hours, but try to break the habit of checking and responding to work email constantly on evenings and weekends.
• When someone talks about their hobbies or time off or some other element of a well-rounded life, don’t judge them as unproductive. If someone else in the conversation does so, counter that comment with a supportive statement. For example,: “I went on a lovely hike this weekend.” “Must be nice to get to take weekends off instead of working like the rest of us.” “It’s so great that you got outside. Do you have recommendations for a good trail? I’ve been trying to do more walking and I’m always looking for a new path.”
• Learn to silence your inner judge who tells you that you should be working all the time. Do it out loud if you need to!
• Create spaces for rest and well-rounded living. Maybe start by banning devices at the dinner table and engaging in conversation instead. Put hobbies, reading, relaxation, etc. on your calendar and to-do list.
• Take a look at your vacation balance and make a plan to use it – and not just to run errands!