Many of us will be celebrating Christmas with loved ones.  As with most things, there's good and bad in that.  It's so good to spend time with those we love, to remember past events and to build new memories. It can also be a bit overwhelming, raising new stresses and re-opening old wounds.

So, what do you do about it?

I'll bet you're not surprised that my response is to plan!

Plan activities that individuals or small groups can do on their own.  Anything from small trips to look at light displays or attend a carol sing to running errands. It's a chance to get away from the group for a while.

If you are hosting, try to make a list of local gyms that accept short-term members.  Getting away for a workout can reduce stress enormously.  You can also set aside a small space with good light and a cozy chair where an individual can go to read or nap for some alone time.

In addition, plan activities that make the most of the loved ones you have gathered. Get out the old photo albums and identify everyone in the picture. (If you have a scanner, you can scan and upload them so that everyone can get copies on CD.)  Record (audio or video) older family members telling favorite family stories or talking about their parents and grandparents or about holidays when they wer young. These files will be treasured some day.

Whatever you do, keep a sense of humor handy and remember that meltdowns tend to pass quickly — often aided by a mug of hot cider and a nap.